Total Drama Index
by Explosivo25
Summary: 26 new contestants,each representing a different letter ofthe alphabet, duke it out for a 1,000,000 prize. Dedicated to Baconbaka, CragmiteBlaster, and the Kobold Necromancer.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I've been meaning to do one of these for quite some time now, and I'm really excited! This fic is inspired by fics such as Total Drama Letterz by CragmiteBlaster and Total Drama Dictionary by BaconBaka. Anyway, enough of my rambling. Let's get started and hope this doesn't royally suck.

OBLIGATORY DISCLAIMER:

I absolutely do not own Total Drama (it is owned by Fresh TV and Teletoon) or the alphabet theme (Frank15 owns that). However, all 26 contestants are mine.

Chapter 1: The Introductions (aka The Boring Chapter Where Everyone Arrives)

Chris stood on the dock, smiling.

"I'm standing on the dock at Camp Wawanakwa, which can only mean one thing. Yes, it's time for another season of Total Drama! However, if you're expecting contestants like Owen, Heather, Gwen, or Trent, I'm sorry to say that you won't find them here this season. Instead, a new batch of suck- contestants will be competing this season, and each one represents a different letter of the alphabet! It all begins right here, right now, on Total! Drama! INDEX!"

(I Wanna Be Famous)

"Welcome back to Total Drama Index!" said Chris. "Our first contestant should be arriving any second."

Nothing happens.

"Well, that was very anticlimactic." Chris muttered. "Any second, now..."

"You really need to stop talking to yourself, Chris." someone said.

"GAH!" Chris shouted in surprise. He turned around to face a fit-looking male with black hair that was hiding his eyes a little. He wore a black suit with a white shirt and tie. It took a second for Chris to register who it was.

"Oh, Phi-"

"Shh!" the guy said, clapping his hand over Chris's mouth. "Are you trying to blow my cover?"

"Phil, dude. You're not really a spy." said Chris.

"I know, I know." Phil sighed, looking a little dejected. "How I wish I was." He walked over to the end of the dock.

The boat then dropped off a girl. She had brown hair with a green streak and green eyes. She wore a black-and-white striped t-shirt, red pants, and white shoes. She also had a brown hat with a small piece of paper that said "Press" attached to it and was carrying a notepad and pencil.

"Welcome to the island, Jenny." said Chris.

"Thank you, Chris." said Jenny. "I can already see the front page headline. 'Future Journalist Wins $1,000,000'. It's not very good, but it's a work in progress."

"How about adding 'From Incredibly Handsome Host'?" Chris suggested.

"I would, but that would be a lie." Jenny replied, smirking.

"Screw you." Chris replied, looking very peeved.

Jenny rolled her eyes and went to stand next to Phil. Unfortunately, she didn't get over there fast enough, as the boat arrived again quickly, causing her to get splashed. The person that got off the boat looked to be a guy of Indian descent with dark blue eyes and thick glasses. He wore a blue and yellow plaid shirt, green pants, and brown leather shoes.

"Oh my goodness! I did not mean for that to happen! I'm sorry!" the boy said, looking very nervous.

"It's okay." said Jenny. "The boat did it."

"Hey! Naveen!" Chris exclaimed, trying not to laugh. "Sup?"

"What is up?" Naveen replied. "What is up is that I can't be on camera for more than ten seconds without making a fool of myself!"

"Which is exactly why we picked you." Chris added.

"You are not a nice man."

"Thank you."

Naveen shook his head and joined Jenny and Phil on the end of the dock.

"Better be careful, because here comes Clarissa!" Chris announced.

"Careful?" asked Phil. "Is she accident-prone or something?"

"Uh, no." said Chris. "We were hoping for an accident prone contestant (1), but she turned out to be..."

"Quite the opposite." said a girl with short blonde hair and brown eyes. She looked rather unusual. She wore a red bike helmet, black long-sleeved shirt, gloves, knee and elbow pads, a life jacket, brown pants, and bright orange shoes. She also had a dollop of sunscreen on her nose. "I'm merely concerned for the safety of myself and others."

What

"Well, that explains the getup." said Chris.

"Is that a water slick on the dock?" Clarissa asked, looking alarmed. She took out a cloth and began to try to get rid of the water.

"We're right near a lake. Trying to keep the dock dry is kinda pointless." Naveen said.

"What if someone slips and falls?" asked Clarissa.

"No one's going to slip and fall." said Jenny.

"You can never be too careful." Clarissa replied.

"Time to meet our next contestant...Ian!" Chris announced.

The next contestant was a rather...unusual sight, as it looked to be someone in a brown lion mascot costume. The lion costume was simple, but had a black and red jersey that had the letters WHS on it.

"Dude, what's with the costume?" asked Chris, who looked utterly puzzled.

"He's obviously undercover!" said Phil, who looked at Ian suspiciously. "You're not fooling me, Master Chaos!"

"Who is Master Chaos?" asked Ian. "I'm just showing support for my school!"

"I guess I'll believe it...for now." said Phil. "I've got my eye on you."

"Speaking of school, the next contestant is definitely a queen bee! Here's...Marcie!" Chris announced. A pretty girl with silky brown hair and gray eyes stepped onto the dock. Her clothes (a purple silk blouse and silver miniskirt) looked like they cost a fortune, and her high heels looked to be, without a doubt, designer.

"Hello, fellow contestants!" she chirped sweetly, smiling and waving like she was just crowned Miss America. However, it was easy to see that her smile was utterly fake.

Uch, it's like the loser table personified, Marcie thought as she joined the others.

"Breaking news, you're full of crap." Jenny whispered.

"This just in, green is so last season." Marcie hissed. "Go to hell."

"Great. I'll tell Satan you said hello."

"Moving on...here's Kevin!" said Chris. A rather average-looking guy with dirty blonde hair and blue eyes stepped onto the dock. He wore an Adventure Time t-shirt, gray shorts, and black sandals.

"Heya, everyone!" said Kevin.

"I'm guessing you like whatever this Adventure Time thing is." said Clarissa.

"You've never heard of Adventure Time?" asked Kevin. "Have you been living in a cave?!"

"Of course not!" Clarissa snapped. "Caves are dangerous! My parents just never let me watch cartoons, is all."

"Worry not, I'm going to fix that!" said Kevin.

"Mkay." Clarissa muttered, looking utterly nervous.

"Next up, it's Quinn!" Chris announced. A girl with red hair stepped onto the dock. She looked prepared for a rainstorm, as she was wearing a rain slicker, a rain hat, and galoshes and was carrying an umbrella.

"You do know it's sunny, right?" asked Kevin.

"Oh, I'm very aware. Mr. Sun is hogging the spotlight, as always." Quinn said, not looking very happy. "It's like-"

"The sun is beating down on us to make us suffer?" another guy asked. He had brown hair, gray eyes, and a mole on his left cheek. His clothes consisted of a red flannel shirt and gray pants. He wore no shoes.

"Hal, buddy. Didn't see you get dropped off." said Chris, looking a little confused.

"Are grand entrances suddenly required or something?" asked Hal.

"Not at all. Just give me prior notice." said Chris.

"Uh, where are your shoes?" asked Clarissa.

"Shoes make my feet feel too restricted. Plus, they're just another way for the government to control us." said Hal.

Everyone looked at Hal strangely.

"Sorry." he said. "I'm a bit of a conspiracy theorist. There seems to be a crazy reason behind everything."

The boat then arrived with a short girl with tanned skin, shoulder-length black hair, and brown eyes. She wore a blue Great Gatsby t-shirt, black jeans, and white flip-flops. She was also holding a book.

"Felicia. Welcome to the island." said Chris.

Felicia said nothing, but gave him a thumbs-up and walked to the others. However, she didn't notice the water slick on the dock and ended up slipping and falling.

"Told you." Clarissa muttered smugly.

"Are you okay?" asked Naveen, giving her a hand.

Felicia nodded.

"Well, someone's a chatterbox." remarked Kevin.

She ignored him and returned to her book.

"Well, maybe the next contestant will be more exciting." said Chris. "Here's Ernie!"

Ernie had reddish-orange hair and green eyes. He had a very odd outfit: a red and blue striped shirt, rainbow suspenders, and green pants. He had a large burlap sack with him.

"Hey guys, I'm PEASED to meet you!" Ernie exclaimed, holding up a can of peas.

A couple of people rolled their eyes, but the rest chuckled appreciatively.

"Wow. Rough crowd." Ernie muttered. "Good thing I have sandpaper!"

"Anyway...here's Olivia!" Chris announced. A girl with blue and pink dyed hair stepped onto the dock. She wore a blue Nyan Cat t-shirt, a yellow skirt, and pink shoes.

"Hi, Chris!" Olivia exclaimed. "My excitement level is over 9,000!"

"Gee, haven't heard that one in a while." Chris muttered.

"Sweet! I feel like I'm going to puke a rainbow, anyway." said Olivia. "I'm freaking stoked!"

"Don't do it on my shoes." Marcie warned. "These are Christian Louboutins."

"Christian Whatawhatas?" asked Ian.

"Louboutins." said Marcie. "They're DESIGNER."

"Who cares if they're Christian Louboutins or Christian Potenzas (2)." said Hal. "Shoes are shoes."

"Here's Algie!" said Chris, trying to draw the conversation away from designer shoes and towards the contestant that just arrived. Algie had shaggy brown hair, and gray eyes. He wore a green t-shirt with a question mark, jeans, and blue sneakers. He also wore a pink fedora.

"Hey, Chris. "Wanna hear a riddle?" said Algie.

"Sure. Shoot."

"What walks on four legs in the morning, two in the afternoon, and three at night?" asked Algie.

Chris thought for a moment, then shrugged.

"It's a human." said Felicia, looking up from her book. She quickly noticed what just happened, blushed, and went back to her book.

"Wow. It talks." said Hal.

"She is correct." said Algie.

"What's with the pink fedora?" asked Olivia.

"Uh...I just like pink." said Algie, looking a little nervous.

"Me too!" said Olivia. "Isn't that great?"

"You betcha." Algie replied, giving her a thumbs-up.

"Ladies and gents, meet Gilda!" said Chris. Gilda had blonde hair with an orange streak and blue eyes. She wore a yellow t-shirt with a smiley face on it, green pants, and red shoes.

"Hi, guys." said Gilda. "It's nice to-is that a romance novel?" she asked, pointing to Felicia's book, which had an image of a bare male chest covered in strange marks (3) in front of a city skyline.

"I guess it does." said Felicia.

"You need to read something more realistic. Romance is horrible!" Gilda scolded.

"Why is that?" asked Algie.

"It only ends in heartbreak and sorrow. The world is better off without it." she replied.

"That's not true!" Jenny snapped.

"Ooh! Cat fight!" Phil exclaimed.

"Maybe the next contestant will enjoy this as much as you do, Phil. Here's Larkin!"

Larkin had greasy black hair and blue eyes. He wore a white t-shirt with multiple stains on it and ratty-looking jeans.

"Why do I have to get off the boat myself?" asked Larkin. "It's too much effort." He sounded sleepy.

"Because, you're lazy, and I get to torture you that way." said Chris.

"Whatever." said Larkin. He then noticed Jenny and Gilda arguing. "Ooh, chick fight!"

"Uch, how crass." said Marcie.

"Next up, Veronica!" said Chris. Veronica, a blonde with indigo eyes, exited the boat. She wore a pink t-shirt, purple skirt, and sandals.

"Hi, everyone!" said Veronica. She then proceeded to hug every contestant.

"Oh, yeah." said Chris. "Almost forgot to mention she's a cuddler."

"Yay! I have pink buddies!" she exclaimed, hugging Olivia and Algie VERY tightly.

"You're kinda, ugh, in my bubble." (4) said Algie.

"Oopsie!" said Veronica, backing off. She then settled for standing very close to everyone.

"Here's Thorn!" Chris announced, stepping aside for a guy with spiked white hair and cruel-looking gray eyes. He wore a black trench coat and black pants with gray boots.

"Hi!" Veronica said happily, hugging Thorn.

"Don't touch me." he hissed, shoving her aside.

"Um, that was uncalled for." said Naveen, who looked very frightened.

"Everyone will get hurt in one way or another during their lives." Thorn replied. "Do you want to be next?" He made one of his hands into a fist and cracked his knuckles.

"Uh, no thank you." Naveen whimpered. "With my luck, I'll probably get medivaced anyway."

"Weaklings, all of you." Thorn muttered.

"Aw, isn't he a sweetheart?" asked Chris. "Next up, Uma!"

A girl with curly brown hair and hazel eyes got off the boat. She wore a red t-shirt with a peace sign on it, black shorts, and green flip-flops.

"Hello, everyone. I hope to win without causing any major rivalry." said Uma.

"It's a competition." said Marcie. "Therefore, there has to be losers. Therefore, everyone's enemies. Well, after the merge, anyway."

"Well, who says we can't all get along?" asked Uma.

"John Lennon thought the same thing, as did Martin Luther King." said Quinn. "Look what happened to them."

"Well, nevertheless." said Uma. "I shall remain peaceful."

"Uch, enough with this 'peace, love, everyone sharing the world' crap." said Chris. "It's making me nauseous. Anyway, here's Rocco."

A guy with slicked back brown hair got off the boat. He wore a stereotypical greaser's outfit: a leather jacket, white t-shirt, and jeans. He also had dirty-looking running shoes.

"Ey, McLean. How ya doing?" asked Rocco.

"Not bad, and yourself?"

"Couldn't be better."

He strode to the end of the dock with a rather cocky expression.

"Here comes Wendolyn!" announced Chris.

A serious-looking girl got off the boat. She had brown hair swept into a bun and wore reading glasses. She wore a black blazer, gray pants, and sensible shoes.

"I hope she isn't at all like Courtney." Veronica whispered.

"Ditto." said Uma.

"I assure you, I am not at all like Courtney." said Wendolyn. "For starters, I don't have control issues."

"Is that what it was?" asked Gilda. "I thought she was just bossy."

"Pah, it was obvious." said Wendolyn. "I'm studying to be a psychologist. I know these things."

"Sure you do." said Chris. "Now, for the next contestant! Brock!"

A male a little on the short side entered the scene. He had buzz cut brown hair and brown eyes. He wore a red t-shirt under a white sweatshirt, gray shorts, and gray sneakers. He also carried two swords.

"Um, Chris?" Clarissa said nervously. "He has w-w-WEAPONS!"

"Relax, they're not sharp enough to hurt anyone." said Brock. "Besides, I have a black belt in martial arts."

"Coolio!" said Olivia.

"Next up, Sandi!" said Chris.

Sandi was a black girl with yellowish-brown eyes. She wore an orange tank top that exposed her midriff, white shorts, and yellow shoes.

"Hey, hey, Mr. Host Man!" Sandi greeted.

"It's Chris." said Chris, who didn't like to be nicknamed.

"Sorry." said Sandi. "I have nicknames for everyone. There's very few people I call by their actual name."

"Got a nickname for me?" asked Kevin, who looked interested.

"Hmm...how about Fanboy?" asked Sandi.

"Why that?" asked Kevin.

"One, you have an Adventure Time shirt on, meaning you're a fan. Two, my little brother watches Fanboy and ChumChum to death, so I keep thinking of that for whatever reason."

"That show is beyond bad." said Jenny.

"I know, right?" asked Sandi.

"All right, thankfully we only have a few contestants left." said Chris. "Next up is Darrell!"

A buff-looking guy with auburn hair got off the boat. He wore sunglasses, a black t-shirt, and jeans.

"What's up, everyone?" asked Darrell. "I promise to do my best to keep everyone out of harm's way. It is my duty as a bodyguard."

"Oh, thank the heavens!" said Naveen, looking relieved. "I'll probably need it."

"Fear is for the weak." Thorn said.

"Geez, what's wrong with Shadow over here?" asked Sandi.

Everyone shrugged.

"Say hello to Xena!" said Chris.

Xena had blackish-brown hair and brown eyes. She wore a black t-shirt with a crescent moon, green shorts, and brown hiking boots. She also wore a white visor.

"Funny, you don't look like a warrior princess." Hal joked.

"Gee, if I had a dollar for every time someone said that." said Xena. "Hey, has Sasquatchanakwa been out lately?"

"What am I, his babysitter?" asked Chris.

"Sorry, I want to see him sometime. I love stuff like that. Urban legends, supernatural stuff, you name it." said Xena. "I even have a ghost tracker in my suitcase!"

"Ghosts don't exist. Are you delusional?" asked Wendolyn.

"Heh, who knows at this point?" asked Xena.

"Put your hands together for Zack!" said Chris.

An Asian boy wearing a red, full-body jumpsuit got off the boat. He bent himself so far backwards that he was able to stare at his own butt, and then proceeded to shake everyone's hands while keeping that position.

"Wow, that's so cool!" said Gilda. "How'd you do that?"

"I'm a contortionist. It took a lot of practice and flexibility." said Zack.

"Finally, thankfully, Yolanda!" said Chris, looking thankful that the introductions were nearly done.

Yolanda stepped onto the dock. She had purple hair, dark brown eyes, and glasses. She wore a yellow-and-blue polka dot shirt, a black skirt, rainbow socks, and brown Mary Janes.

"The excitement! The drama!" Yolanda exclaimed, looking rather theatrical. "Oh, the drama! This is more exciting than seeing a broadway musical for the first time!"

"Um...yeah, okay." said Chris, looking a little weirded out. "Group photo time!"

Everyone stood at the end of the dock, hoping it wouldn't fall.

"On the count of three, yell Index!" shouted Chris. "One, two, three..."

"Index!" everyone shouted.

1) I originally made an accident-prone contestant named Raffi, but he was scrapped.

2) A shoutout to Christian Potenza, Chris's voice actor. He's a pretty awesome guy!

3) The book was called The City Of Bones, and it's one of my all-time favorites.

Next Time: The first challenge begins!

So, how was that? I'm sorry if it wasn't very good. Anyway, I'll put up a poll soon for who you want to win.

Will it be...

Algie, the Riddle Lover

Brock, the Black Belt

Clarissa, the Paranoid Safety Freak

Darrell, the Bodyguard,

Ernie, the Prop Comedian

Felicia, the Shy Bookworm

Gilda, the Romance Hater

Hal, the Theorist

Ian, the School Mascot

Jenny, the Future Journalist

Kevin, the Cartoon Fanatic

Larkin, the Lazybones

Marcie, the Queen Beeyotch

Naveen, the Bollywood Nerd

Olivia, the Spouter of Memes

Phil, the Wannabe Spy

Quinn, the Rain Lover

Rocco, the Greaser

Sandi, the Nicknamer

Thorn, the Bitter Jerk

Uma, the Pacifist

Veronica, the Over-Affectionate Cuddler

Wendolyn, the Future Therapist

Xena, the Fan of the Supernatural

Yolanda, the Theater Geek

Or Zack, the Contortionist?


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: The First Challenge

A/N: I'm so sorry my update took so long! I had a major case of writer's block (and Animal Crossing consumed a lot of my time). I'm going to be in Canada for two weeks to visit family, but luckily I am staying with a relative who has Internet! Yay!

Also, the poll is up! Go vote for your favorite four contestants!

OBLIGATORY DISCLAIMER: I do not own Total Drama. Otherwise, my name would be Teletoon or Fresh TV (which would not be something I'd want to name my nonexistent children) and either Gwen or LeShawna would've won TDI.

The contestants were now in the mess hall, eating what appeared to be some sort of oatmeal.

"Why are we eating oatmeal for lunch?" asked Brock.

"Why not?" asked Veronica. "I love oatmeal. My mom used to make it for me all the time when I was little. It's like eating a warm hug."

"It's good for you, too." Zack added. "My grandpa says it sticks to your bones."

"Evidently it sticks to the bowl as well." said Algie. "I can't get it out."

"Here, let me try." said Darrell. He took Algie's bowl and tried to dig the spoon in deep, but to no avail. He then turned the bowl upside down. The oatmeal remained stuck.

"Wow, it's like a Blizzard." (1) said Ian.

"Those things are so fattening and gross!" said Marcie, trying not to gag. "Of course, a loser like you would eat those."

"How can you eat with that mask on, anyway?" asked Kevin.

"There's an area on it that I cut out so I could." said Ian. "I practically live in it."

"Clearly you're dedicated to school spirit." said Darrell.

"That I am." said Ian. "Even if some of the jocks are jerks, it's still important to show your pride. Plus, you get to be near cheerleaders!"

"You're the luckiest guy ever." said Larkin. "I'd love to be right next to all that bouncing."

"You're revolting!" Marcie exclaimed, dumping her bowl of oatmeal onto his head.

"Sweet, more for me!" said Larkin, licking some oatmeal that fell onto his face.

"You gonna clean that up?" asked Phil.

"Too much effort." said Larkin.

"Well, I'm going for seconds." said Veronica. "Anyone else want to?"

"Me!" shouted Yolanda. "I wanted to try something."

Yolanda went towards Chef and got down on her knees.

"Please, sir, may I have some more?" she asked, putting on a surprisingly good British accent.

"More? You want MORE?" asked Chef.

"Um, yes?" Yolanda replied nervously.

"WELL, YOU AIN'T GETTING MORE!" shouted Chef.

Just then, Chris entered the mess hall.

"First challenge begins in ten minutes." Chris announced. "Finish your meals, and feel free to use the confessional if you like."

* * *

Confessional: I'm Baaaaack!

* * *

Marcie: This. Island. (bleep)ing. Sucks!

Yolanda: I played Oliver in the community's theater production of, well, Oliver! I couldn't just let that opportunity go to waste. Shame that Chef didn't appreciate it.

Thorn: This is going to be ridiculously easy.

Clarissa: Hopefully, this challenge will be safe. If I have to make it safe, so be it, I will!

Ian: I just barely fit in this thing wearing my costume. I can only imagine how difficult voting's gonna be.

* * *

Ten minutes later, all the contestants were gathered outside in front of what looked to be five large piles of garbage.

"Oh no. We're not trash picking, are we?" asked Gilda.

"Worry not." said Chris. "Today, you're doing something completely different. You'll

be building Rube Goldberg machines!"

"What's a Rube Goldberg machine?" asked Quinn.

"You know, one of those huge, elaborate contraptions that do a whole bunch of things to accomplish one simple task?" asked Algie.

"Hush, you two" Chris warned. "Five teams will be building a machine used to perform a task related to an early morning rush. I'll be judging the machines based on creativity, effort, and whether or not they accomplish the task. The team with the best score wins immunity and a wicked reward. The team with the lowest score has to vote someone out."

"What are the teams?" asked Rocco.

"I was getting to that. Team One consists of Phil, Felicia, Uma, Yolanda, and Olivia. You guys are the Wicked Wrenches. Your machine has to pour a glass of orange juice. Team Two consists of Hal, Zack, Gilda, Clarissa, and Rocco. You guys will be the Homicidal Hammers. Your machine has to pour cereal into a bowl."

"H-homicidal?" Clarissa asked nervously.

"Exactly." said Chris. "Team Three will be Xena, Naveen, Quinn, Ernie, and Brock. You will be the Scary Saws. Your machine must squeeze toothpaste onto a toothbrush. Team Four is Larkin, Algie, Wendolyn, Darrell, and Sandi. You guys are the Daring Drills. Your machine is supposed to hit the snooze button on an alarm clock. That leaves Veronica, Marcie, Thorn, Kevin, Ian, and Jenny on Team Five, aka the Nasty Nails. Your machine has to start a coffee maker."

"The Nasty Nails?" asked Jenny. "Seriously?"

"Seriously." Chris replied. "You have two hours to build your machines using whatever is in those trash heaps."

"I thought you said we weren't digging through trash!" Gilda exclaimed.

"Yeah, I lied. Now GO!"

* * *

Confessional: Can we build it? Yes we can! (2)

* * *

Rocco: This challenge shouldn't be too hard. My brothers and I are always messing around with cars, so I have a bit of mechanical expertise.

Larkin: Man, if only I had a machine that would hit the snooze button for me. It's pretty tiresome trying to do it myself.

* * *

(Wicked Wrenches)

"Let's see..." said Phil. "Pipe pieces, marbles, twine. Looks like standard Rube Goldberg machine material. Sweet!"

"Great, but it won't exactly give us creativity points." said Olivia. "One does not simply build a standard machine."

"What if we build it really high or something? It could put it at a higher effort score to even it out." suggested Yolanda.

"Too risky. What if it falls down on us?" asked Uma.

"Maybe we could find some really weird stuff in there to put in somehow." said Felicia.

"I like that idea." said Olivia. "Creativity is about being spontaneous and out there."

"Wow, more than ten words." Phil replied, amazed. "Didn't know you had it in you."

"I can talk, you know. I just don't like to."

"Time's ticking!" Yolanda exclaimed. "We need to get to work!"

* * *

(Homicidal Hammers)

The Hammers were already hard at work on their machine. Trying to give themselves something to do, they decided to engage in conversation.

"What's it like being so flexible?" asked Hal.

"Pretty cool, actually." said Zack. "I still haven't figured out the true extent of what I'm able to do, so my life's always full of surprises."

"You should be in the circus or something." Rocco added, attaching a weight to a rope.

"I was, actually, for a while." said Zack. "It was pretty wild."

"I could never do something like that." said Gilda. "People are always touching each other, and it leads to...urges."

"Plus, it's dangerous." said Clarissa. "I can't imagine doing anything like that, what with the heights and the vicious animals."

"And the clowns." Rocco added. "They give me the creeps."

"Not all clowns are creepy." said Zack. "Some are actually quite nice."

"I wonder if some of the clowns that wear all the heavy makeup are using it to hide their true emotions." said Hal. "The painted smiles say one thing, but their true feelings say another."

"That's...uh, really weird." said Gilda.

* * *

(Scary Saws)

The Saws were working on their contraption. Well, three of them were, anyway. Brock and Naveen, for some reason, had completely abandoned their parts of the work.

"Now, this kick is one of the easiest ones you'll ever learn." said Brock. "It's called a snap kick. All you have to do is bring your knee up in front of you and extend it." He then demonstrated the kick.

Naveen then tried the kick, only to be unable to lower his leg after.

"Something snapped, and it definitely wasn't the kick." he whimpered.

* * *

Confessional: That had to hurt!

* * *

Naveen: I wish I was better at athletic things. Why do I have to live up to stereotypes and be good at computers instead?

* * *

"Why are you so interested in martial arts all of a sudden?" asked Brock, once Naveen's leg returned to normal.

"There may or may not be a girl here I'm trying to impress." Naveen admitted, blushing a little.

"Hey, if you guys keep wasting time, we'll have to dig a sewer!" Ernie shouted, holding up a manhole cover.

"How'd you-?"

"You don't wanna know." said Ernie.

Meanwhile, Xena and Quinn were chatting while they worked.

"What do you think of the others so far?" asked Quinn, who was holding up her umbrella to block the sun.

"Eh, they're okay." Xena replied. "I'm waiting to see if anyone's 'more than okay' at the moment."

"Same here, though some people are kinda rubbing me the wrong way. Thorn's kinda raining on my parade, and not in a good way." said Quinn.

"Anyone stand out?" asked Xena.

"Not really. I wouldn't know what to do, anyway. I just got done with junior high, so the only romance I'm used to is the kind where couples go out for a week, break up, and get back together again. It's beyond annoying."

"Well, before you know it, it's going to get a lot more serious." said Xena, laughing.

* * *

Confessional: It's going to get really serious! *nudge, nudge*

* * *

Quinn: I kinda like Xena. She's a bit like an older sister.

* * *

(Daring Drills)

Unlike the other teams, the Daring Drills had not gotten much done.

"Yo, Lazybones. You planning on doing anything?" asked Sandi, who was nudging Larkin.

Larkin, having been sleeping under a tree, didn't notice the prodding.

"Get up!" Wendolyn ordered, trying to take charge.

"Hmm...wha?" asked Larkin.

"Are you going to help or not?"

"Please. It's much too strenuous for me. You wouldn't want me to collapse from exhaustion, would you?"

"Your chronic laziness is simply astounding."

"And you're a (bleep)."

* * *

Confessional: Wow, that was rude!

* * *

Wendolyn: That was extremely uncalled for. I can understand people reacting the wrong way, but, nonetheless I know who to vote off if we lose.

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(Nasty Nails)

Surprisingly, the Nasty Nails had gotten even less done. This was due to a massive amount of arguing.

"I am not working on this stupid machine!" Marcie snapped. "Do you know how much I spend to make my hands look beautiful?"

"You're going to help and you're going to like it!" Jenny shouted. "Last I checked, this challenge required teamwork, and that means everyone contributes."

"My beauty is a contribution to the entire world. I'm doing more work than you guys combined."

"Obviously, you're just asking to go home. Breaking news: either you help, or you're out."

As the girls continued to argue, Ian tried to assemble his section. Unfortunately, with his costume covering his hands, this task was quite difficult.

"Hurry up, mascot boy. If we lose, I will end you." Thorn warned, grabbing his arm and holding it in a death grip.

"That's so mean! Why are you threatening him?" asked Veronica, hugging him in an effort to protect him.

"Personal space, please." Ian said.

"Okay, GUYS?" said Kevin. "We seriously need to stop arguing if we want to win."

"How are we going to?" asked Jenny. "We didn't even get much done."

"We still have 15 minutes left. We may be able to finish if we double up. Veronica, you work with Marcie. Jenny, work with Ian. I'll work with Thorn. No complaining, no arguing. Just finishing. Got it?" said Kevin.

Everyone agreed, though some were more reluctant than others.

* * *

"Time's up!" Chris announced. "Let's see if you guys can make Goldberg proud."

He looked first at the Wicked Wrenches' machine. It was decent-sized and had many interesting touches.

"Hmm, could've been bigger." said Chris. "But you guys do have some very interesting touches. Let's see it in action."

The machine worked, if you discount the fact that it spilled a little bit of the juice.

"Gonna have to dock a couple of points for that." Chris noted.

The Homicidal Hammers were next. Their machine was very large and elaborate.

"This machine is wicked cool!" Chris exclaimed.

"Bet you can't wait to see it work, huh?" asked Rocco.

Chris then tested the machine. It worked flawlessly.

"Excellent! Let's see if the Saws can live up to this."

The Saws' machine was also pretty large, but it looked rather...average. Fortunately, it did work.

"Eh..." Chris said. "It's passable."

"Thank God." said Hal.

The Drills' machine was, quite simply, a mess. It was small, lackluster, and rickety.

"Let's hope this works." said Chris.

It worked, but just barely.

"Let's see what the Nasty Nails have to offer.

The Nails' machine was better, but not by much.

"I hope it works." Kevin muttered.

The parts started moving together, and then...

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...the coffee maker fell over.

"Ooh, so close, guys." said Chris. He then wrote down a couple of things before clearing his throat to speak again.

"I think it's clear that the winners are...the Homicidal Hammers!"

The Homicidal Hammers cheered.

"You guys are safe from tonight's bonfire ceremony. You also get another unique prize: if you happen to be on the losing team for the next challenge, you'll get automatic immunity. I also think it's clear who today's big losers are...the Daring Drills."

"What about the Nails?" asked Darrell. "Their machine didn't even work.

"Yeah, here's the thing." said Chris. "It at least looks like the Nails tried, as opposed to you guys. See you at the bonfire ceremony!"

* * *

Later that night, the Drills nervously sat at the Bonfire ceremony

"You guys really sucked today." said Chris. "As a result, one of you guys is leaving tonight. If I call your name, you're safe. Marshmallows go to Algie, Darrell, and Sandi!"

The aforementioned trio happily took their marshmallows.

"Wendolyn. Larkin. One of you is no longer in the running for a million dollars. The final marshmallow goes to...

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...Wendolyn."

Rather than looking sad, Larkin actually looked RELIEVED.

"Thank God." said Larkin. He walked towards the dock, only to collapse onto the ground.

"Too...much...effort..."

"Wow." said Wendolyn. "I'll be damned. He actually collapsed from exhaustion."

"Crazy, isn't it?" asked Chris. "Who will be the next to fall? Who's Naveen's crush? Find out all this and more on the next episode of Total! Drama! Index!"

* * *

1): Apparently the Blizzards from Dairy Queen used to be thick enough to stay in the cup even when turned upside-down.

2): Yes, I watched a lot of Bob the Builder when I was little. There weren't a whole lot of female-oriented cartoons back then.

Woohoo! First challenge complete! Larkin was actually a remake of one of my old characters, and he was pretty much there just to make up the numbers. I know this chapter sucks, but leave a review if you want!


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